Global Warming Survival Guide

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December 21, 2012 11:11PM--the end of the world--is just a few years away. Nearly every person in the 21st century has heard of this prediction and wondered whether or not if the world will actually end. Unfortunately, now is not the time to ponder the obvious fact that the end will come in 2012. Now you may ask, “How can you be sure this time its actually going to happen? I mean apocalyptic predictions like Y2k and 6/06/06 were false right”? Well, the answer is obvious; this time the world will definitely end because the Mayans predicted it! Not the Incas, Aztecs or hundreds of other civilizations around that time period, but the Mayans. Clearly the Mayans were able to see a special alignment of stars and planets with only their eyes and grass tubes for extra magnification. NASA must have falsified this prediction because they lack sufficient technology to make the correct sightings. In addition, believers of 2012 claim the Mayans succeeded in predicting civil conflicts within civilizations in thousand year margins. For example…the American Civil war and the Chinese Civil war and the Portuguese Civil war… the list goes on and on. Here we see solid proof, for only the Mayans were able to predict such rare internal conflicts in a civilization. I predict a rising percent of Americans suffering from heart attacks and an increase in carbon dioxide contamination in the air, but heck, I’m probably wrong without the rock calendars or chocolate currency that helped the Mayans. After all, my piece of evidence only relies on scientific statistics. I might have missed a couple of supporting of evidence, but hundreds of documentaries supporting my point and even a Hollywood movie should be able to answer your questions.
If you survived underwear bombers, Y2k, 666, SARS, Bird flu, Swine flu and Mad Cow, your luck must run out sometime. This only leaves us one thing to do, which is to seize the last three years. First off, all you freshmen out there should all stop taking your classes. For those taking five Honors/AP classes for perfection, you only have about three more years to live, so why spend time developing critical reading skills for the SAT when the countdown to 2012 is already around a thousand days? President Obama, why waste time encouraging 2016 Olympics to be held in Chicago? Forget your promised duty to the American people. I doubt healthcare will save us from dieing to a combination of earthquake, tornados, tsunamis, and meteors. On the bright side, global warming might actually have no effect! Even though our ozone layer perhaps will be unable to block out dangerous UV rays and our air will be polluted with carbon dioxide in twenty or so years, we won’t have to worry at all with the world ending in three years. Recently, our nation faced a rippling fear of obesity among the young, well proven by statistics. By now, with the 2012 truth revealed, let them stuff themselves with Twinkies and Sunkist. An average heart attack only strikes when a person is at twenty or thirty years old, well after 2012. But do not worry! Maybe you will survive the epic apocalypse by simply ripping the lungs of a human and sacrificing it to Mayan god “Bukhil Bil.” Or maybe eating the heart of a tiger to make you become an all-powerful warrior! Since the Mayans practiced this tribute, who knows? Or perhaps you may try the modern approach? “Buy your 2012 survival guide today”
Unfortunately in our generation, it is common for ridiculous hoaxes and wild superstitions to attract many followers. When these events do not pass with little attention or is refuted with solid evidence, believers often cause the fear and paranoia bar rises even higher than the “preposterous” level. With one visit to Yahoo Answers, you will be able to see hundreds of anxious people questioning the apparent “truth” of 2012. With such obsession, people will turn away from solving our nations biggest and legitimate problems, obesity and global warming, to some ludicrous doomsday date. Next time, when a wild prediction swings out of control, considered the evidence support it before you become dragged away from reality. Often times there is little, if not any, evidence that has to do with the topic. So turn down those ridiculous rumors, convince your friends, and be the ones who having fun on December 20, 2012, the ones who sit back and relax, laughing at those with credit card debts and unsold 2012 documentaries.

Had you used one paragraph for the introduction, another one for each point in your discussion and a separate conclusion, it would not look such a formidable piece of writing.

It is my advice also to indent each first line of a paragraph and skip a line between them as well.

2010-02-02 20:01:10 by -.-